I am a little scared writing this down. It is like a final admission of how I feel. I like to be spanked - there I said it!

My husband and I have been married for 13 years and 2 kids. We have had a vanilla relationship for many years. I had a normal upbringing, albeit with a controlling father, his word was the last one, I do think my mother lived in a bit of fear. However he left for another woman and it turns out there had been many others. I was determined this would not happen to me. My first real relationship was one with a guy who tried to control me, funny he used to call me "wife." I was 18 and thought this idea hilarious! We were very in love and I did like to please him. However due to his father being alcoholic, I made the break as I could see I would end up as his mother, a gorgeous lady inside and out but not a happy one.

I then moved onto disastrous relationship after another, when one January I met a man. We hit if off and before we knew it we were living together. He never seemed to be possessive or dominant, and that suited me fine, I was not going to be told what to do by any man. We enjoyed experimenting over the years and he has spanked me on occasion and we both enjoyed it. We have had our problems in our relationship, I felt like I had to push for many parts of our relationship, I suggested he move in, I proposed marriage, I almost had to demand children. I have felt that I was in charge of much of our time together. This is not because I felt the need more that he did not demand he was in charge, or maybe I was too aggressive to even be approachable? Recently however I had a revelation after reading Fifty shades lol I realised that I wanted my husband to be in charge, after many years of fighting it, thinking I did not want anyone to be in charge of me. I have accepted that my husband is a good man, and I know he has taken care of me and our family well. I now feel ready to be more submissive.

I am not sure how this will pan out. I have read many womens blogs about submission, I wont be calling him master or wearing a collar, but I am ready to release some of my need for control. I am not sure if I want to be in a DD relationship or if I want to be spanked for my own good, I do know that if he feels it is right I would be happy to consider it. I also know that if it felt wrong for me, he would not do it. That is the most important part of this, he would consider my needs, I will not be bullied or dominated as such, more that I will be submissive to him. We have talked about me becoming submissive, I am not sure how he really feels I find it hard to actually discuss. I have begun this process by making myself available sexually, firstly by sleeping naked. This may sound odd, but I do believe I have used nightclothes as a barrier, this barrier is now down. As a result we have spent a lot of time being intimate. I have never experienced so many orgasms! It is fantastic and he is not a selfish lover he wants to please me, so we both want to please. I by giving him the power within our relationship and him by keeping me happy! A win win situation.